Since I do not live in Utah where families with 4 kids in 6 years is common, this is probably the comment I get the most when I go somewhere with all 4 kids. I am getting use to it, but sometimes I still feel so judged. Are they saying that I have too many kids or do they see it as a wonderful blessing? Do they think I am crazy or are they impressed with my juggling act? Really I should not care what they think, but I still try to make sure the kids are all dressed well, their hair is done, and they are on their best behavior. I want to show people and myself that I can do this mom thing.
It has been a long last couple of years as I have struggled with feeling like I am doing a "good job" at this mom thing. Scott and I have always said that we might have our kids closer in age because of my infertility issues, but saying it was so much easier than doing it! However, even if I had to do it over again, I would do it the same way because I know it was the right choice for us to have them when we did.
They have built in best friends and they love each other so much! I love seeing the Adeline and the boys make Reuben give a big-belly laugh, I love seeing Rigby and Peter wrestle together, I love seeing Adeline grin while she runs after her big brothers, I love seeing the millions of little golden moments that my kids share. It really makes the challenge of motherhood/parenthood worth it for me.
I have found that there are three things that help me have a happy day and feel like I am doing okay at this mom thing:
1) Prayer and Scripture Study
This one has been hard because I am not a morning person; the kids are my alarm clock! By the time night hits, my brain feels like mush and all I want to do is something mindless or sleep. I know it makes a huge positive impact on each day, so improving prayer and scripture study have been my goal lately.
2) Let It Go! Let the unimportant things go.
I have learned to let the house be a little bit messier. Now, I cannot live in a super messy or unorganized house, but I have tried to lower my standards so I am not cleaning as often. I have also found that letting go of my responsibility as a mother for a few hours and getting a break makes a HUGE difference.
3) Hugs & Kisses!
I always try to give the kids a hug/kiss and say I love you or something positive. I want them to leave the house and go to bed knowing that they are loved. I am also trying harder to seize the little moments when I can spend quality time with them because my "to do list" has a tendency to take over my life (oops:). I love what Sister Hinckley said, "the most important thing you can spend on your kids is TIME." Time equals love right!
Seems like a simple list but I like to make things complicated, so it is still a work in progress. Hopefully writing this down will help me in the future and maybe my kids as they look back at our blog books!
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